The Cocoon of Writing

A cocoon is messy and alive. It is all process.

I have been struggling to write, and to share, consistently.

I spoke to Kening Zhu – the creative mentor of my dreams. She helped me to understand that I have been stuck in a fantasy of professionalism. My website had become a brochure when I wanted it to be more like a haunted forest. Kening came up with the image of the cocoon as a place to share from.

I already spend lots of time in the cocoon with other writers. I help them to write their books by getting deep into the primordial soup with them.

Sometimes that process is one of composting and digesting. It can look messy, and even scary, but that is the richness of transformation.

The cocoon is not only about the end product but about translating the process from the inside.

I have written about blacking out. About finding ways not to write. Not to share. Finding new obstacles like extra design work. Writing letters that I abandoned because I convinced myself they were full of messiness and mistakes. As though messiness isn’t the same thing as being alive.

The cocoon is not about shame and fear and perfection but it does allow those elements to be held; it contains multitudes. It allows those things to decay and to be renewed. It is miraculous.

The cocoon is not a way station to be moved through or a prison to break free of. It is life itself.

I want to inhabit it like a haunted forest or a bottomless lake. Like a glittering island covered in salt crystals.

It is made of jewels and feathers and velvet.

I make it every day and it holds me.